Ms Bronwyn Parkhurst of Storer Street has been arrested twice in the last month for excessive cuteness.
She continued on her crime spree whilst at the station house as can be seen in her mug shots.
After the first offense she was released into the custody of her uncle, Robert Cuskley.
Ms Bronwyn expressed surprise at the charges when interviewed by this reporter.
Upon being apprehended a second time the authorities insisted she was a chronic recidivist and would never reform. They sought a life long sentence for "adorable without a license". Though the district attorney could not find any actual statute or ordinance under which to charge her, he did say "Oooooh! Gitchee gitchee goo!". Nevertheless, police officers refused to release her saying "she's just too cute!".
Ms Bronwyn's uncle, Mathew Parkurst and aunt, Christine Cuskley, well known figures in Brooklyn's organized style community, were called in to help devise a plan for Ms Bronwyn's escape. The police officers were first administered a liberal dose of Guinness, their customary drink. Then Ms Cuskley hypnotized them with a colorfully decorated Easter egg representing their national flag.
Once in this hypnotic state they were distracted by Ms. Bronwyn's father who they mistook for Nicole Kidman, thought by some to at one time have been as cute as Ms Bronwyn.
Mr. Mathew Parkhurst then carried Ms Bronwyn off.
Ms Bronwyn was finally reunited with her mother only to be immediately kidnapped by her grandparents!
